I think I'm having an anxiety attack...

No, not about eating or weight (surprising, heh?), but about something
far, far worse...

Teeth. Specifically the dentist.

I have an appointment with my dentist on Monday, for a cleaning. And I
am so freaking stressed out!

A little history... I got braces in...uh middle school or early high
school (I don't remember specifics). But I do remember that I was the
dumbest braces-wearing chick around. Basically, I did a shit job of
taking care of my teeth whilst braced. Not to mention I was and always
have been a sugar fiend!

So, by the time the braces came off, I had a ton of hidden cavities.
The braces revealed some horror of a mouth (maybe not visually but
every other way).

Ever since then, my teeth are pretty much fucked. No matter what I do
to them, every time I get drug in for a cleaning, there's more damage.
Sometimes a little, sometimes a LOT.

May was my last cleaning and they found enough cavities to turn my
parents into boiling tea kettles.

The past two nights, I've been looking at my teeth, and I swear I see
bad shit...3 small black dots on the top of one tooth, along with what
looks like darkish shadows along some of my back molars.

I know I may be over-reacting, and I also know that the sooner teeth
problems are taken care of, the better it is for your mouth. But I
honestly wish I could avoid the dentist until I graduate. Even though
I doubt I could afford those costs with whatever the salary of my
first job is, I've already cost my parents SOOO much money - dentist,
orthodontist, doctors, and then thks surgery.

I am just freaking out, completely. And I feel like such a child right
now - scheming up ways to be "sick" on Monday. :-( I'm so immature
sometimes.

--
Emily Hanhan