Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Man....Me + Internet = Screwed up Sleep!

You know what's a horrible habit? Well, staying up till 3am is bad, but jumping on your laptop in bed at 3am is even worse. Yaaaah, internet crap for 4 hours. And now I'm either gonna get like minimal hours asleep, or I'm gonna oversleep and waste the day. This was a habit that started in college, and continues at home, because everyone here are night owls too.

Anyway, just doing a bit of updating - I have a hair appointment Wednesday afternoon...I guess I'll just get it trimmed back to a shorter bob. Unless people have any good ideas for my hair? Seriously, throw out some ideas. I'm totally open! But, idk what would look good on me. I took this picture yesterday - I have fine/thin hair and a fattie face. ;) I'd really love to go short short and funky, but the confidence to pull that off, idk if it's there yet. Ideas, ideas, throw them my way!

And, FCE update! Well, it's not that exciting, but I got my appointment set up - it's THIS Friday, from 11:30am-4pm. I'm quite nervous about this Functional Capacity Evaluation, since it basically makes or breaks Vocational Rehab approving me, that they will pay for the RNY surgery. It's been such a long friggin process with them...if it falls through, Emily will NOT be a happy camper!

So, I think that's it for now...I've been sorting through all my crap from school, finally. Does ANYONE have a good idea on how to store/organize fabric? I have pieces big and small, and there's just no good way I can come up with where you can store them and see them all and be able to transport/move them. Well, good morning to all!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Really need to chill down...

Wow, it's been two months since I've last added....

It's been waiting waiting waiting. Still dealing with Vocational Rehab...I have to have a 'functional capacity evaluation', and I'm waiting for Cone Hospital to call with the appointment date/time. I think Susan at Wake Forest is waiting to hear from VR on whether I'm approved or not. Which sucks. Because I want my date.

But I'm also freaking out because I'm horrible. Definitely not eating 1) like I should be with my type II diabetes and 2) like I should be in order to get more adjusted to eating after the surgery. I'm so damn anxious to get a date, but I'm really afraid my A1C is gonna be shitty. Which will probably postpone the surgery. Which will get me more frustrated and my parents more mad at me. Seriously, why the fuck is it so hard for me to keep up a routine w/my meds and insulin? And how horrible am I gonna be with my vitamins afterwards?

I am TRYING to show that I am an adult, and I can handle this surgery, but I'm afraid I'm just proving everything wrong. Like my title says, I really need to chill out. I'm never gonna get anywhere if I keep acting like a child.

I swear every other post on here is my 'angsty teen journal entry.' I am just disappointed with myself so often and really frustrated at living at home. And all of this waiting has gotten me worried that I won't be prepared to go back to school in January. Late surgery date is bad enough, but the possibility of complications +/- the possibility for the surgery to be open instead of laproscopically (if I don't start losing some damn weight to shrink my probably-enlarged-liver) equals more recovery time.

I'm sorry for the language here...I'm really trying to refocus all this self deprecation, sadness, frustration, etc. But that doesn't seem to be my strong point.