I don't really have the energy to write much, besides the fact that my mind and body are teaming up against me.
On my modified diet now for 2.5 weeks, and when I went to my doc's yesterday, I weighed 323 lbs. 7 lbs lost. I thought I was going to find out yesterday at the visit whether the surgery was good for the 19th. But no.
Waited and waited and waited and finally got a call today from the surgeon,. The surgery is pushed back to December 4th. I had so convinced myself that I was okay with a delay, you know, just happy that the surgery was even possible. But I'm so fucking devastated. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna get through even more time on this diet. I feel so discouraged, and frustrated, and I'm still going through caffeine withdrawal, so all I want to do is lay around. The headache from the lack of caffeine isn't any smaller now that I'm all up in arms over the surgery.
I was totally okay with surgery being right before Thanksgiving and my birthday. Totally fine with that, I mean, who cares about food then! But now I'm gonna be going through all of that on fucking vegetables and protein powder. I totally didn't expect so much bitterness, but it's gotten so bad I can't even really see what I'm typing. So I'm gonna stop for now.