Thursday, November 15, 2007


I don't really have the energy to write much, besides the fact that my mind and body are teaming up against me.

On my modified diet now for 2.5 weeks, and when I went to my doc's yesterday, I weighed 323 lbs. 7 lbs lost. I thought I was going to find out yesterday at the visit whether the surgery was good for the 19th. But no.

Waited and waited and waited and finally got a call today from the surgeon,. The surgery is pushed back to December 4th. I had so convinced myself that I was okay with a delay, you know, just happy that the surgery was even possible. But I'm so fucking devastated. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna get through even more time on this diet. I feel so discouraged, and frustrated, and I'm still going through caffeine withdrawal, so all I want to do is lay around. The headache from the lack of caffeine isn't any smaller now that I'm all up in arms over the surgery.

I was totally okay with surgery being right before Thanksgiving and my birthday. Totally fine with that, I mean, who cares about food then! But now I'm gonna be going through all of that on fucking vegetables and protein powder. I totally didn't expect so much bitterness, but it's gotten so bad I can't even really see what I'm typing. So I'm gonna stop for now.


Anonymous said...

Hi Emily
My surgery is on Monday the 19th.
Why did they postpone your surgery?
email me later
I am from OH I am Megan W butch074
Good luck on the 4th of December.
Megan W butch074

Brittany said...

Hi princess. I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with you, but I'm in the process of finishing my quarter with a couple 20-page papers. I promise I'm not ignoring you!

Anyway, I am so sorry you're feeling so bad. I would make jokes to try to cheer you up. I know it's not the same, but I get caffeine headaches when I don't drink soda for a little bit. It is a pain in the ass to go through that. If you can take Aspirin, do that.

About everything else...I can imagine how you're feeling. I'm sorry your surgery was postponed. But like you said, it's still happening! Now it's a Christmas gift instead of a birthday gift. I bet it's super hard to be on a stupid diet through Thanksgiving, but it's just a test to see if you can handle it, since you'll have to watch what you eat AFTER the surgery too. I'm here for you, no matter what. You can call me whenever you like - chances are, I'll be awake, and I'm an hour behind you.

Loves jew.