I love digging myself into deep holes...

Ugh.

How does one explain to their parents that they were too in denial and depressed about the situation to tell them about losing their job? For me, I'm such a damned emotional person that I don't think I can physically express that before getting to the tears where it would make any sense.

I'm an idiot and went blabbing about losing my job on Facebook before telling family. I just told my mom two days ago. Yes, TWO days ago. But, my aunt who is in Barcelona saw it on Facebook. Her husband, my uncle Raz, comes back to Greensboro for a week or two at a time every month or two. Raz, my aunt Nabila and mom and dad had dinner Sunday night (the day before I told Mom). Raz mentioned it at dinner, before my dad got there, and obviously it was news to my mom.

Well, not only was that hurtful to her, but then I guess yesterday at work, both Raz and Nabila came to the store. My dad told them the news, and, of course, they both said they already knew. That hurt my dad, a lot. And I know I have to talk to him, but now it's a must-do thing, by the end of the day if I want to seem any less heartless than I already do.

Never ever did I not tell people to hurt them. Immaturity? Denial? Sadness? Yes to all of the above.

I woke up late today. Feeling physically sick, before knowing about any of this. Now, not only am I trying to work on Jenna's project – that's not that stressful or difficult while not feeling hot – but now this on top. Phone calls like this not only eat up time but physical energy and I do not look forward to this. I realize this is all part of growing up, learning that acting this way does nothing good. I'm so ready to be completely independent from the parents, but it keeps looking further and further away.