Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I feel like an angsty teenager...

I originally posted this on the OH forum, but I figure it's sort of a blog thing so I'm just gonna paste what I said on here.
I'm 22, in college, and I'm home for the summer. I'm not working/interning, b/c I'm hoping to have this surgery sometime soon. (But I'm still very early in the process). I may be taking a semester off in school for the fall to get adjusted post-op, if I get approved and if I can have the surgery sometime soon.

Anyway, being home, dealing with my mother (and I have 2 brothers and my dad at home too), I'm just over it. I know my mom loves and cares about me, but I just get frustrated. I have an appt with my endocrinologist tomorrow, and I've been taking Byetta (a very expensive drug for diabetics that's supposed to help some patients with hunger suppression. It worked for a short while for me, but then stopped). Her general attitude toward me is just grr. She's already said to me today "Well, I hope you weren't lying about your blood sugar being good and we get there and it's in the 200/300." and "I don't know if you're not making the effort or if the Byetta isn't, but it's obvious you haven't lost any weight." Yeah, I know I'm extra-sensitive, but I guess I just realize more and more why when I'm at school (my univ is about 1.5 hrs away from home), I hardly ever come home. I'm ready to get a job and get away.

I never did go through the angsty teenager stage growing up, so I guess it's the angsty young adult phase. I love my parents, and they've put so much money into me and all my health problems. But now I'm debating whether I should wait to have this surgery. Finish my last semester of school and get a job and finance it myself...

Anyway, I know I'm a big baby, and I don't take care of myself like I should. But I'm just blah.


chimes. said...

Hey, i HAD to leave you a comment. We seem a lot alike and I found your blog/page on the OH boards. (ps. im sooo a perez whore too lol.) I know this can be hard, I'm in the final rounds of procedures and trying to get the gastri (as i call it to make it sound cooler lol) covered, so I know sometimes you'll just want to rip your hair out, but I hope you get it done. Oh, I'm 19 too, you should go check out my blog
gud look. keep updating.
-ms. mdlr.

Laura said...

Hey... likes chimes said, I found your blog on OH and we, too, are very very similar. :) I'm having my surgery on July 27th by Dr. Joya in Mexico. It's scary but it will be well worth it!