Tight Ass Tuesday: October's Bastardization

Because I'm still broke and always up for a challenge, I'm doing another Tight Ass Tuesday for Thursday Night Smackdown. I mean, I won the damn thing last month, I can't leave TNS hanging now! Yep, I won! Woo! So, I got to pick the cooking 'prompt' for October. Feeling incredibly uncreative, here was my idea:

"It’s time to bastardize your two (or more) favorite cuisines! The ever popular, mostly outdated fusion cooking style is the challenge. Be creative or play it safe (Indian-Thai), just don’t be a jackass serving falafel in a taco shell."

So what the hell did I come up with? Err, I'm not even sure, but I'm calling it ConFusion Curry Raviolis. Having quite a bit of leftover lamb curry and cooked basmati rice from the Lamb Takedown, I really wanted to use them up in some creative way. Plus, the lamb was FREE. Making this perfect Smackdown material! And thus, we have the rice and curry ravioli/dumpling/potsticker. I got stuck on the idea of using the rice in the way pierogi and gnocchi dough uses potato, and just winged it along the way. I yoinked Mario Batali's potato ravioli recipe, attempting to puree rice in my measly baby blender. Warning: pureed rice, egg, water is really. Fucking. Sticky. While I only added 3/8th cup to the rice in the bowl, during the course of trying to knead the dough, and then make each little dumpling thing, I used a lot of flour. It sticks to fingers and counters really easily and needed the flour. The curry recipe I used is made from two pounds of lamb, but I probably only used about a cup of filling, if that. That recipe is also really delicious, and I recommend making it next time you're craving curry.

Tight Ass Tuesday! Fruity Steak Tacos

Back again, to Thursday Night Smackdown's Tight Ass Tuesday. What's better for a bored, broke amateur cook? Last month's winner, Dark Side of the Fridge (who will probably kick our asses again this month), declared that this month's challenge was to include fruit in the dish. No pussying out with a slice of lemon on the plate, a 'real' fruit component.

Thankfully, my CSA has included a small melon in two different weeks' regular vegetable share, so having this baby cantaloupe staring me down worked out. But melon, for dinner? For a CHEAP dinner? Well, duh, fruit salsa, you dope! What it ended up being was somewhere between salsa, salad and relish.

The thought process continued onto meat. Trying to find inexpensive, non-sketchy meat in Brooklyn or Manhattan is not easy. It does not exist, in most forms. So, when I stumbled upon london broil in my least-sketchy local grocery store for somewhere between $1.50-1.99/lb (I blanked on the price, whoops!), I grabbed it. I also accepted that I was probably going to have a chewy piece of steak, because that's what london broil is. Before last week, the only other form I've had London Broil in is killed beyond recognition in the oven by my mother. (Her specialty is Sahara-esque pork chops, chicken, beef.)

Anyway, chewy steak in basket and feeling otherwise stingy, I grabbed just a few essentials - an onion, cilantro, limes. At home, I had a box of tomatoes and jalapenos waiting for me from the garden. Not MY garden, but they were free to me, completely. Wanting to make something that would have a bit more shelf life than fresh salsa, I threw the tomatoes, an onion, a bunch of garlic and the two jalapenos I had into the slow cooker. Basically everything was in large chunks or whole (peppers, garlic).

That bubbled away on high while I worked on some tortillas. Yes, this amateur bread maker decided to make homemade tortillas for this tight ass meal. Following this recipe, which I have no idea how I found, I made the tortillas. Intelligently, I made them half the size as the recipe, for easier rolling and more taco-friendly sizing.

I cooked up the tortillas and kept them wrapped in a towel, while I threw the london broil in a pan. It had quick marinated in whatever the hell I happened to grab - lime, sriracha, garlic... a bottle of ghetto ginger beer that I have NO clue how it got into the fridge, and I added salt and pepper to it before pan frying. Because I worried of tenderness, and also because I love bloody meat, I just did a quick sear, a few minutes on each side, before the steak got taken out and rested on the cutting block. Somewhere in the middle of this, I pureed the cooked down salsa/gazpacho creation.

Oh, the fruit salsa? Yeah, about that. Recipe:

1 small melon (cantaloupe, honey dew) or 1/2 giant grocery store size
1.5-2 small cucumbers (or 1/2 of one of the giant english suckers)
3-4 baby red peppers (or 1/2-1 grocery store sized)
Teensy bit of onion
Lime juice
Mint, cilantro to taste (I used a little mint, a lot of cilantro)
Salt and pepper
Bit of olive oil

Melon was cubed up in my normal, inconsistent fashion, and the cucumber was diced, slightly smaller than the melon. Bell pepper also diced, even smaller than the cucumber. Grate or finely dice the onion, chiffonade mint and rough chop cilantro. Throw it all in a bowl, and season to taste, adding lime juice (I used 1-1.5 limes and they were juicy) and just a little oil. It's fairly heavy on the lime because the melon is quite sweet.

And then you make tacos! Because last time had no pictures, here's some step-by-step action.


One tortilla, nice and toasty. (And only slightly tough - I think I'm an overkneader.)


Spread on a thin layer of the (really quite spicy) cooked salsa.


Add some steak (if you're smart, stay away from the london broil and stick with flank/skirt, or chicken, pork, fish, whatever.)


Pile on the yummy, fresh salsa.


And om nom nom!

Final tally:

Pantry staples (Free!):
Tortilla ingredients (flour, water/milk, oil, baking powder), garlic
Garden (Free!):
Tomatoes, jalapenos, mint
CSA - 1/5 weekly draw - $1.85:
Melon, cucumber, red pepper
Steak - $2.25
1/6th onion ~ $0.10
1/10th cilanto ~ $0.10
2 limes - $0.50

$4.80 for 4 people, $1.20 per person.

I realize that some of the keys to being a tight ass cook come down to baking, gardening, and taking advantage of fucking awesome deals like CSAs. I joined it for the sake of cheap, local vegetables so I feel like it's a legit way to calculate my final costs. Also, if anyone thinks calling flour, milk or garlic pantry staples incorrect, feel free to call me out on it. But they are ALWAYS in my home, no matter what. So there.

Hobo Tuesday!

Wait, what? Hah, I decided to participate in Tight Ass Tuesday. (Definitely check out the link - we've got ourselves a pretty entertaining writer over there, in my opinion.)

This month's theme was spiiiicy! And when I think of hot food, curries are what hit my brain first. I did a sort of bastardized Indian/Thai eggplant red curry that is well... I've made better, but it works for today.

Pictures, you ask? Yeah, I took some pretty ones Tuesday night, all garnished with green onions, cilantro and crushed peanuts. But, I've been incredibly disorganized lately, and thus I cannot find my card reader. Whoops.

This can also be known as CSA Curry, or "Whatever is about to die" Curry, because if you like curry, you can pretty much put whatever vegetables you like in it. I was also going to add ground turkey (possibly eliminating the $5 price limit), but it turned into a zombie on me. Quite the bummer, considering it was money lost and carnivorous (poultrious?) cravings unsatistfied.

Kick-Your-Tight-Ass Eggplant Red Curry
1 large onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
2-3 inches ginger, grated or minced
1 pound eggplants, sliced or cubed, whatever
some carrots, sliced
1 tiny bell pepper (about 1/3 size of your typical grocery store pepper, in my case)
1 super hot serrano, or a few serranos, thai chiles, jalapenos, pick your poison
about 1/4 can (2 tbsp?) red curry paste
1/2 can coconut milk (I used light, but I know some people consider that blasphemous)
optional garnish stuff: 1 scallion, sliced thin, some cilantro, crushed peanuts

If you're a sane person, unlike myself (and if you're reading this from TNS), I recommend making rice to go with it, especially since it's vegetarian, and hot. You need some filler.

Now, do as I say, not as I did (that's why the curry wasn't... spectacular. My technique was off on Tuesday.)

Fry up the eggplant until soft in a bit of oil. If you have a big wok, please use that. Otherwise, just use whatever will hold the eggplant. You may have to cook in two batches, which I would normally never recommend, but I do. My eggplant was crowded and I think it steamed too much.

Anyway, sorry, I ramble. Fry up the eggplant, set aside. Throw the onion in the skillet and cook till a bit softened, maybe 5 minutes. I recommend adding the carrots 3 minutes in, and the bell pepper a minute after. Add the garlic, ginger, diced peppers, and curry paste and let them fry a bit, 30 seconds. You'll be able to smell when they're good. Turn the temperature down a bit and add the coconut milk. Mix everything up, and toss in the cooked eggplant. At this point, just let it cook up until the eggplant is the doneness you prefer, and that the flavors have sort of gotten into the eggplant.

This made a big potful, for me, but since it's vegetarian, I'm counting it as three (I lied before) servings. Most people can eat a lot, if they're not burning alive.

A note on ingredients, cost, etc:

The eggplant, carrots, bell pepper were all from my CSA box or my parents' garden. (some eggplant from them) So they were small, baby eggplants, baby carrots, and that's why the pepper was so teeny. It also made the meal incredibly cheap - I pay $225 for 20-22 weeks of vegetables, and the vegetables were probably a third of my weekly pick up.

The serrano (it maaay have been a jalapeno, it was also from my parents' garden) had turned from green to red, sitting out for at least a week and a half, accidentally. So the flavor was intense. Normally, I would use two peppers at least for a curry.

The curry paste is a small, tuna can size container that I get at a Thai restaurant in Chelsea Market. $0.85 for at LEAST four dishes worth of curry paste. I adore the red curry, and I own a can of the green curry paste but have yet to try it.

Because the CSA is so affordable, and I know not everyone uses that, I used the prices from Fresh Direct (which seem vastly overpriced) as recommended by the TNS blogger.

The final run-down on cost:
1 lb eggplant - $1.69
1 white onion - $0.45
carrots - $0.50
1 tiny bell pepper - $0.25?
1 super hot jalapeno - $0.25?
4 cloves garlic - pantry staple
2-3" piece of ginger - pantry staple
~1/4 can curry paste - $0.25
1/2 can coconut milk - $0.50
1 scallion, cilantro, peanuts - these are staples for me, and optional.
rice - $0.75 - optional

$3.89 or $4.64 with rice, aka $1.29 or $1.54 per person!

Pretty damn affordable, and quite a spicy eat! Hopefully pictures will appear in the future...