Pet Peeve

[This post recevies a special co-title of Epic Fail]

So, for anyone (anyone? anyone?) reading this thing with some regularity, you probably remember my mention of a StyleCareers career fair coming up, yeah? Yeaaah, about that. While I should probably not automatically label it as #epicfail, to say it was frustrating and exhausting is an understatement. Over the course of five hours, I spoke with four (yes, four) companies, and spent 97% of that time standing in line. It was the ultimate clusterfuck, and while there were over a dozen, closer to two dozen, companies there, the lines were insane. You could not figure out what line was for which company, where a line ended, how long the line truly was.

It's just easier not caring...

---on another note---

I wouldn't normally say anything like this, but it's appropriate now. Lately, I've reallyhad the desire (or something?) to flirt/date/make out/something!

I'm not sure what all it is... well, I've tossed ideas around with Shira, but there's not exactly one thing. I'm just at that point of wanting some attention, ya know? And I know my time to date will come, but I'm tired of waiting. Then again, I don't really know how to do whatever it is I want to do... When I was heavier, I guess I just automatically let me weight not let me care about dating, attention, flirting, etc. And although I still feel pretty fat, I guess I sort of thought coming back to State, there'd be more...attention (from guys).

As the ever-intelligent Sara Yasin said to me one day, "I am invisible to boys too because I am too unfamiliar with the dance." So...anyone wanna teach me the steps?

blah.

After having (or shall I be PC and say "thinking I had"?) the Vera Wang internship and then having it taken away, that whole dream of spending the summer in NYC with a fashion internship is just sorta gone. I still *REALLY* want to go, really want to get an internship, but I've been sending out resumes and cover letters like mad, with only one company responding. They're quite cool, (Indigo Handloom), but I feel like it's a total waste of money to go up to New York for a week for one interview.

And even the idea of going around, passing out resumes, seems sort of bleh. When I first thought about it, seemed pretty easy. But I'm sort of realizing that it's not so easy to just go find companies and go "door-to-door" passing out resumes, hoping for interviews.

I've always realized this industry is tough to break into, but I'm just at the point of "blah"-dom with it. I guess I'm just wanting something that takes a lot of work and I'm not putting enough work into it.

Still...blah. Advice?